Top 10 Part I: Shit Customers Say

Now these are in no specific order, because anyone working retail knows that all have a No. 1 spot on their list. These are the things that customers say or do, to make any store associates toes curl. Enjoy!

1. How many times have I come across this one? One too many that's for sure! I mean, I understand that you are trying to be nice and making sure you didn't get the wrong person but come on, if I'm glued to the register or have a full uniform with name tag on, then I'm sure you don't have to ask.

2. It's the truth. You could have gotten the item from Timbuktu for all that I know. I as an associate can't just give you a discount or make up a price. I need to verify that information before our inventory goes all out of whack. So if you didn't take the time to look for the price tag, then don't expect me to ABRACADABRA!

Want to know what else grinds an associates gears? Then keep reading!

The No-Life Customer

Now to set this straight, I am not saying this customer has no life. I just couldn’t come up with an alternative name. 

I understand you don’t have a job (yet) or a car and you’re cooped up at home but what is so special about a store that A-L-W-A-Y-S has the same merchandise. We do not change up our assortment every single day at every single hour.

Coming in once a day is weird but multiple times a day? What is there to see? You have kids, then go outside and play with them, be creative, join classes, something. I really don't understand, someone has to explain this to me. Maybe you are working on a project I don’t know of, or maybe you are setting up a World Record of how many times a day you can walk in the store, or maybe you are fighting your inner shopaholic. I have no idea. Whatever it is, every associate thinks you have nothing else to do, except get on our nerves with your issues and the same annoying questions as the days before.

And to tell you how bad it can sometimes get, you can time these customers. You know exactly at what time they are coming in: When the store opens, before lunch, after the kids come home from school and before the store closes.

The Super-Moody Supervisor

Today I start my segment of supervisors. It is unbelievable how many different types there are and to be honest; most of the times I have to stop and think, how did these people end up in those positions. I feel like supervisors are stuck in a sort of "limbo".Too experienced to be regular associates but not qualified enough to be managers. Maybe it's for the best that it's that way. So today I present you the super-moody supervisor. The picture below is truely depicts on how I feel about this supervisor.

This supervisor has no control over their being. They are like the Katy Perry song "Hot & Cold" or like that toy crocodile where you had to push down the teeth, you just never know when this supervisor is going to snap. Constantly it feels like you're trying to detonate a bomb, not knowing if you got the right wire or not. 

You thought your life was tough as it was working retail, well let's just add this supervisor to make sure that everything in your life is miserable. The apocalypse could be happening right outside your door but this supervisor  will still be the # 1 threat. Good news, if you're lucky there will only be one specimen of this kind at your job. 

I myself have come across this rare phenomenon and this person will manipulate you in ways you didn't know were possible. At some point you will realize that just their glare leaves you stuttering and heart racing fast, you start thinking that it is your fault this supervisor is acting the way they are, that is how you know there is no return. You have officially been diagnosed with scaredshitless, even though you might not want to admit it.

Remedies, HAH! No official cure but to run and hide. If you are among the brave ones, you can speak up to this person but remember you have been warned. But for real, if there are problems, go to your manager or work union and make them deal with this!

The Customer-Who-Never-Picks-Up-What He/She Drops

This customer unknowingly reflects themselves of how tidy they are in their own home. Many times I have noticed how sneaky this kind of customer can be. Oh, let me go through the clothing aisles with my big fat stroller and knock every Tshirt there is off the hanger and act like it never happened. 

Opps, I forgot I am the one being paid for this; to bend my back (causing the number 1 injury at the workplace) and picking up after YOU or YOUR children who feel like the store is a huge playground. If you see that you knocked it down, what is so hard for you to pick that item up and place it back. I don’t expect eldery people or pregnant women to do this but if you are physically healthy, just do us the favor. It might not seem like a big deal to you but remember you times a hundred a day is a lot of back bending and putting the clothes in the right spot.

I have also had this customer look me dead in the face and drop something and just kick the item under something else just to not have “seen” what had happened. As many other companies we are low on staff and this can be very time consuming just running behind you and picking up things, making it hard for us to accomplish other things to your favor. 

The No-Clue Customer

I don’t even know where to start with this customer. This is the person who probably has never worked in retail but thinks they know how companies run. Being the associate of a world reknown store chain, I now realize how things run. Being overseas makes shipping times longer and unfortunately makes the customer more impatient.

Due to the ordering system, which we cannot influence, items might come in scarcely and once gone take 6 to 8 weeks to arrive back in store. This leaves many empty spots and this customer is always quick to making you realize that that particular item has not been in for days/weeks. Usually they don’t understand how the ordering works and that we cannot change the quantity that comes in. But it seems like you talk to the wall because they think we can just snap our fingers and the item will magically reappear.

It's also funny that the customer doesn't believe us when we say that it's not that easy, we are not lying to you. So please don’t give us an attitude because we do not operate what comes in or not. 

The Pressure Customer

This customer is almost like the “Keep-Asking Customer” only that this shopper takes it to every level possible. Can’t satisfy his/her needs, they will certainly put so much pressure on you until you give in. They are like a pittbull that will not let go until they have the answer they wanted to hear. They do not care if they are in the wrong because in their head everyone is wrong except them.

Not having it in the store is not going to stop them. You, supervisors and managers are going to have to stop, drop and roll for this customer to get what they need by yesterday. I always shake my head with this customer, e.g. it is Halloween and you decide to come in last minute for a costume and make up and you actually expect to find it here. Or Back To School, did you forget that there are other kids that need school supplies and not just your child? Sorry to disappoint you but that stuff was sold out fast. The early bird catches the worm, remember that phrase? 

Well I do try to give you alternatives but you are just not happy with any of the options I give you and for some reason in your mind this is the only store on the earth you can get these products at. Come on, think outside the box! Go explore your surroundings and voila, look at that, there are actually other stores close by where you can find those products. Yeah, but just complain and tell us how we never have anything on hand because YOU failed to buy things on time.

The In-Your-Personal-Space Customer

We all have that imaginary bubble or wall around ourselves to determine how close a stranger or friend can approach us. Some people say it is as far as your arms stretch out others only to the elbows and then depending what cultural background you have it might be even closer or further away.

But I am sure that the majority does not want someone literally in their face or just bracing you. I think customers tend to forget that associates still have their personal space at work. Yes, it might be even bigger there because we are w-o-r-k-i-n-g. A verb many have neglected. Our area is more spread out and you cannot tell me that you cannot see that I am working on arranging clothes neatly with a four foot rack with clothes in plastic wrapping behind me. I really do not know what you are thinking when I am sizing and organizing clothes. Sometimes the clothing is still in the wrapping and you have the audacity to yank it out and look at it. 

Can’t you just wait another minute or two until I am done? Would you like it if I came to your workplace and just scattered through your papers and files? I bet not. And sometimes customers you really grind my gears when you see that I am working in a spot you hardly ever check out and then you think there is something new and lean all over trying to see, touch, smell whatever I am putting out. Back off for a second and let me move or say something, don’t just dive in and knock me to the side you Barbarian. Just wait a minute, that is all I am asking for!