The Customer-Who-Never-Picks-Up-What He/She Drops

This customer unknowingly reflects themselves of how tidy they are in their own home. Many times I have noticed how sneaky this kind of customer can be. Oh, let me go through the clothing aisles with my big fat stroller and knock every Tshirt there is off the hanger and act like it never happened. 

Opps, I forgot I am the one being paid for this; to bend my back (causing the number 1 injury at the workplace) and picking up after YOU or YOUR children who feel like the store is a huge playground. If you see that you knocked it down, what is so hard for you to pick that item up and place it back. I don’t expect eldery people or pregnant women to do this but if you are physically healthy, just do us the favor. It might not seem like a big deal to you but remember you times a hundred a day is a lot of back bending and putting the clothes in the right spot.

I have also had this customer look me dead in the face and drop something and just kick the item under something else just to not have “seen” what had happened. As many other companies we are low on staff and this can be very time consuming just running behind you and picking up things, making it hard for us to accomplish other things to your favor. 

The No-Clue Customer

I don’t even know where to start with this customer. This is the person who probably has never worked in retail but thinks they know how companies run. Being the associate of a world reknown store chain, I now realize how things run. Being overseas makes shipping times longer and unfortunately makes the customer more impatient.

Due to the ordering system, which we cannot influence, items might come in scarcely and once gone take 6 to 8 weeks to arrive back in store. This leaves many empty spots and this customer is always quick to making you realize that that particular item has not been in for days/weeks. Usually they don’t understand how the ordering works and that we cannot change the quantity that comes in. But it seems like you talk to the wall because they think we can just snap our fingers and the item will magically reappear.

It's also funny that the customer doesn't believe us when we say that it's not that easy, we are not lying to you. So please don’t give us an attitude because we do not operate what comes in or not. 

The In-Your-Personal-Space Customer

We all have that imaginary bubble or wall around ourselves to determine how close a stranger or friend can approach us. Some people say it is as far as your arms stretch out others only to the elbows and then depending what cultural background you have it might be even closer or further away.

But I am sure that the majority does not want someone literally in their face or just bracing you. I think customers tend to forget that associates still have their personal space at work. Yes, it might be even bigger there because we are w-o-r-k-i-n-g. A verb many have neglected. Our area is more spread out and you cannot tell me that you cannot see that I am working on arranging clothes neatly with a four foot rack with clothes in plastic wrapping behind me. I really do not know what you are thinking when I am sizing and organizing clothes. Sometimes the clothing is still in the wrapping and you have the audacity to yank it out and look at it. 

Can’t you just wait another minute or two until I am done? Would you like it if I came to your workplace and just scattered through your papers and files? I bet not. And sometimes customers you really grind my gears when you see that I am working in a spot you hardly ever check out and then you think there is something new and lean all over trying to see, touch, smell whatever I am putting out. Back off for a second and let me move or say something, don’t just dive in and knock me to the side you Barbarian. Just wait a minute, that is all I am asking for!

The 5-Minutes-Before-The Store-Closes Customer

After a long and exhausting day at work we are just happy to leave this prison we nicely call job and head home to enjoy a good meal and spend time with our families. But sometimes fate comes in between and messes with our plans.

Stores nowadays are open for long periods of time (excluding 24/7 stores for obvious reasons). I am pretty sure that ten hours is a long enough time to get your shopping done. We all understand that you might be working as well and need to get something really quick. Believe me you are not the problem. You know exactly what you want, go for it. Walk in store - find product - buy product - leave. But walking in five minutes before we close just because you are bored and have nothing else to do, that is simply unacceptable.

Believe me you might see us smiling and trying to help you find whatever you need but inside we are cursing the living out of you! How many times have I had customers looking for a specific product before we close. You've gotta be kidding me?! You want me to find that ring with the yellow and blue diamond on it that was shaped like a carrot. Uhmm no, that is not going to happen. And then you want to tell me you did not know your friend’s birthday would pop up out of nowhere. Oh and now you decide to look at every single product closely and examine it for the billionth time and ask my opinion on it.

And after staying open after our official closing times you decide to check in some other day. Wow, well I hope you have a pleasant evening as well while I stand here, feet and back hurting, mad and now having to count the money and organize everything for the next day. 

Oh it's all fine, I really didn't want to go home anyways and I did not want to kick up my feet and call it a day and watch my favorite movie on TV.

The True Definition of "Customer"

According to Google.com

Customer

ˈkʌstəmə/

Noun

1. a person who buys goods or services from a shop or business.

"Mr Harrison was a regular customer at the Golden Lion"

Synonyms: shopper, consumer, buyer, purchaser

The actual Meaning

Customer

1. a person who has forgotten the ability to fold clothes; pick things up after themselves; has lost their sense of seeing and understanding (see Zombie for further explanation); thinks they are king/queen of the entire universe; speaks gibberish when agitated and bored; sees the associate as babysitter; psychologist and butler free of charge and after all the above mentioned still wants to be treated as if you were forever in their debt.